How Special do I feel

Well I can answer that, Really Bloody Special. I was asked by Sarah from Sarah's cards to be a Guest Design Team member for her, with her April Kit. To say I was gobsmacked is an understatement. After the initial shock had calmed down, I was overtaken with Fear, oh no, what if I do a crap job, oh no, what if she hates what I do, oh no, I'm pants at this scrapbooking stuff.

Well my kit arrived, and I was blown away, how generous is that woman, so many papers, ribbons, blossoms, brads, etc, etc, etc. but as soon as I saw them I knew what I wanted to do. I have had a 3 panel screen sitting here for a while. Originally I wanted to do something family orianated on it, (I know, my spelling is pants) But given the circumstances, that was out of the window, so I decided to go wild with it instead and let my altered side have a wee play - It does not come out that often - So I made this, when I had finished it, I knew the perfect person to give it to - Heather, as a wee thank you for been a super friend.

I also made a layout and a folder for my design collective subscription classes to be stored in, for the day when I eventually get a moment to do them. I still have tons of stuff left over as well, and when I get a moment, I will make some cards, etc with the scraps.

So here they all are, I seriously encourage you to get your arses straight over to Sarahs and buy one of these kits, cause they are great value for money.







Joke of the day:
Martin had just received his brand new driver's license.
The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.

"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.

"Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."

Till tomorrow, take care of yourselves. xxx

Crop Day

Today I went to Angel Crafts crop in Stonehouse, and what a great day it was. Managed to do half a CJ entry that I should have posted by off to the owner by now, (Sorry Jacqueline - I promise I'll have it with you soon) Then I did the most amazing class that Heather was teaching, honestly it is stunning, I'll take a pic of it tomorrow and let you all see it. I loved it, and actually finished it all off whilst I was there, which is a rare thing for me, I usually have a look at what they suggest and then take it home and do my own thing with it, or shove it one of my many hiding places and then discover it months later and have no idea what to do with it.

As I promised you all yesterday, here are the things I made for Lianne over at Little Silver Hat with her kit of the month, I loved this kit, it was packed full of the most scrummy ribbons and even some of the New Aunty Sarah's chipboard blossoms, so I had a right field day with it.




tomorrow I'll also share with you the other projects I've been working on.

Till then, here is a joke of the day for you all, I was sent this by Lynne. and it made me laugh till I peed a bit, hee hee.

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off
the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her
and I asked her not to do that.

"Why?", my daughter asked.

"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty
and probably has germs", I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked,
"Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart."

I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test.
You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently
pondering this new information.

"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be
the daddy?"

"Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face.

Time to come out of hiding

I'm still here, just about that is. I have just taken a peek at my blog and I'm blown away by all you lovely people who have left me comments, wow, never knew I knew so many people.

I need to say a couple of personal thank you's.

Firstly to each and every one of you that left a comment for me, thank you so much. I know we all lead really busy lives and for you to have taken the time to have left me a message of support, is..... well...... OK, I'm choking up here..... Well it fills my heart with such love, and I really need to feel loved at the moment. So a Massive Thank you.

Next is to Heather - Yes you my dear. You have dragged my sorry arse out of my house to your house virtually every weekend, and I'm so grateful for that, ok, I might not have been productive, but having some different walls to stare at has been a breathe of fresh air.

Angela and Janet - Both always at the end of a phone, with an ear ready to listen to me complain. (I'd hate to see Janet's phone bill, she literally stays on the phone with me for hours at a time) Our little talks really do help, thank you.

and my last thank you goes to my darling son Benjamin. I know this is so tough for you, your turning into an adult, and its far to quick for my liking, Your hormones are all over the place and your as up and down as I am. But you know just the moment when your mum needs a hug and you give them so freely. I adore the ground you walk on and I always will.

Right thats enough of that, I need to compose myself again as having tears pouring down my face.

So what have I been upto, well the house is a bomb site, but is slowly getting there, apart from the fact that the budget has now ran out and I've still not bought carpets, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, anybody know where I can get carpet for free...........

Scrapping wise, well I have actually been doing some bits, I did a kit for Lianne over at little silver hat, another one for Angela at Angel Crafts and another one for ............ ha ha, can't tell you just yet. ha ha. Also been mad busy with Lippy Chick.

Work, well have been working more hours especially during the easter holidays, but can't complain it all makes for extra days off come the holidays, yahoo.

here are some peeks at what I've been doing.


A lovely little birthday book that I made for Angel Crafts that will now be sent to my must scrummiest god-daughter who lives in Canada, she has also taken up scrapbooking, so if any of you out there want to help me compile a box full of goodies for her, drop me an email and I'll give you my address.

This is another layout I did for Angela over at Angel Crafts, using the scraps of paper left over from the DT kit she sent me, kind of went mad with my own handwriting, but dedicated to the greatest thing in my wardrobe at the moment, my CROCS.

Tomorrow I'll share what I did for Lianne over at little silver hat.

Till then, here is your Joke of the Day, cause I know you have all missed them.

GRANDMA STILL DRIVES!!!

Grandma's letter. She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter:

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!! Will write again soon. Love Grandma

Some shocking News

Friends, Family and fellow bloggers,

I'm sorry to have to say this, but I've recently had some very devasting news, which I'm trying to come to terms with. So I won't be doing my blog for a wee while, whilst I wrap my head around it.

I promise you though that I'll be back soon and hopefully with more jokes of the day as well.

Take care of yourselves.

Roz
xxx

Cupcakes and cards

Tonight me and Ben have had our first go at making cupcakes, 'What' I hear you all shout, Yep, we made them from scratch. One of my friends on one of the many forums I frequent gave me a brilliant receipe so today has been spent trawling round the supermarket picking up everything we needed. We spent a happy hour in the kitchen, weighing everything out and mixing it all up.

Unfortunately, we spread the mixture a bit to thin in the cases and our cupcakes where not as big as they should have been, and they all seem to have volcano tops, but we don't care, just meant the frosting slid off the tops, We where also to impatient to let the frosting set a bit and tried to create a landscape with angelica which promptly fell over.

We will have another bash tomorrow and let you know how they turn out, but here is what we have created so far.

See told you I was a photographer, see that lovely depth of field, Kirsty will be so proud of me.

On another note, have you all checked out the Design Collective yet, wow, that is one brilliant site, I love it, such a friendly bunch of people over there and lots of silly chat and pre challenges going on, it actually got me off my bottom to make a mother's day card for MIL for Sunday, I've also made her a little sewing book to keep her needles in, I'll show you a pic of that tomorrow night, but here is the card.

Joke of the day for you all now, cause I know thats the only reason you all stop by, hee hee.

A wee Glasgow woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room,
waiting for the doctor to come in. The doctor arrived, examined the
baby, checked his weight, found it somewhat below normal, and asked if
the baby was breast fed or bottle fed. "Breast fed," she replied.Well,
strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered.
She did. He pressed, kneaded, rolled, cupped, and pinched both breasts
for a while in a detailed, rigorously thorough examination. Motioning
to her to get dressed he said, "No wonder this baby is under weight.
You don't have any milk."
"I know," she said, "ah'm his Granny, but I'm glad I came!"

Website, yahoo

Today, I have finally finished the Lippy Chick website, I've uploaded all the pics I have of the books, included some stunning designs sent in by customers. I have to say, I love the new site, it may take hours to upload photo's, but I can honestly say it is worth it. I love how you can make images thumb nails but have the larger images behind, silly I know, but I love it, love it, love it. So go on over and check it out and let me know what you think. I'm still waiting on more of the DT images to come in for the flap page, and also a special one from a Guest DT member.

We have had a busy weekend, spent all day Saturday hunting for carpets and bits and bobs for the house. I was in need of a new headboard, as the old one was one I had made but would not suit the room any longer. Eventually found one, bought it, and then on the way out of the shop, saw the most adorable bed, wicker, iron, sleigh bed, you get the idea, Well it was on sale, and I said to Gerry, could I swap the headboard for the bed, NOPE, he says. So back to the shopping, 1hours later, we where in another store, and low and behold, the same bed is in there for £700 more than in the first shop, yahoo, I hound gerry, telling him, how he is saving £700, eventually he caves in, and says I have to ask at the shop, so back we go, I ask nicely and they say YES, yahoo, new bed for me. Now I just have to figure out how to get it home from the shop as they don't deliver. Ummmmhhh anybody got a van I can borrow please.

Sunday, me and Ben donned out scruffy clothes and stuck into cleaning the formal lounge as its now all decorated but needs a carpet, so we spent a good few hours scrubbing the floors and woodwork and I have to admit the room looks blooming brilliant now. Shame we lost steam and ended up watching videos, as we still have another 8 rooms to sort out. ahhhhhhhhhhhh. OMG. My house sounds massive, 8 rooms, haha, that includes all the little rooms as well.

Anyway, thats enough from me for today, my eyes are all googly from sitting at the PC for so long.

Joke of the day is from June Baby, mwah, love you June.

"True" Friendship

None of that Sissy Crap
Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good,
But never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-
Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".
Friendship is like peeing your pants,
everyone can see it,
But only you can feel the true warmth.

here is some more bits

thought I would finally share with you some more bits that I did for the retreat, now that I have finally managed to take some pics.

This was the board book class that I taught, I love this little book, it looks like a bag when its all finished, so cute, I'm using mine to pop in pictures of all the retreats I attend this year, have been to two so far and have another one planned, but Hey you know me, tell about a scrapping event, and I'm usually there, I love them, they are such a great way to meet up with friends and learn some amazing skills.

This layout is the one I did at the retreat Kirsty organised in Manchester at the end of Feb. I love the picture, which was also taken by Kirsty and the class was brilliant, and was taught by Debbie, she was so nervous prior to the class as it was her first time of teaching, but she did brilliantly, a right professional, and wow what a class layout it was, I'm going to steal the idea for my Yearly Journal for my Feb entry.

And finally, here is the new Lippy Chick Flap book, I've been such a tease only letting you all see a blurry image of it on the website, but I taught a class with it at the Retreat and have now decided to share it with the rest of you, The pics below are of the one I did at the retreat, but check out the website to see what other ones I've made along with some of the DT, blown away by there talent is an understatement.

I think the formating on this has gone all wrong, so i'll leave the rest of the pics till tomorrow.

News from Home, Decorator finished today for a week, as off to london, whoopy yoo, NOT, why the hell can't people finish jobs, ahhhhhhhhhh. however, Bens room is decorated along with the bathroom and our main lounge, and the spare room, so actually only three more rooms to go and the stairs and landing, so hopefully when he gets back, he will rattle those areas off quickly.

Finally managed to track down the rest of the wallpaper for the dining room, but have a long trek to get it.

Went to the SECC today, but to be honest, nothing was jumping off the shelves into my arms. I did buy some wool as want to have a go at knitting, but knowing me, it will sit for a while before I get a chance to tackle it. I have tons of DT work to do, so need to spend sometime this weekend, trying to get areas of the house tidy so I don't feel guilty about locking myself in my scrap room. Anyway, thats it from me, how are things with you guys??? good I hope, hope you all have a great weekend, what ever it is you do. Kissy Wissy's to you all xxx

JOke of the day:You Don't Need to Be a Weatherman...
It was two o'clock in the morning and a husband and wife were asleep, when suddenly the phone rang.
The husband picked up the phone and said, "Hello? ... How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" -- and promptly slammed the phone down.
His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?"
The husband replies, I don’t know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear.

With These Hands.........

Last weekend at the retreat, I created a make 'n' take for everyone to do on the Friday night, just something quick but fun. Well I had decided that I wanted to encourage them to do something about themselves, I'm a big fan of BOM's, but do understand that some people are scared off by the idea, so to break them in gently I decided instead of a pic of themselves, I would get them to do a layout with their hands, plus it was a chance for everyone to get really messy.

I had done a layout myself to show them all what we where doing, but firstly to get them all in the mood, we did some brain storming as to what you do with your hands for your family, we had some great comments back, along with the odd rude one - Typical. Then I showed them the layout. Well I could have curled up and died right at that moment, because the room fell completely silent, then somebody said, pass the layouts around so people can see them up close, and I have to admit that once the girls where able to see the layout up close they all seemed to love it. It was hard for them to notice the journalling around the hands and feet that I had done, as I was so far away from them. Anyway, they all got stuck right in, some of them ran so free with it and I was so in awe of the ideas they had going on, honestly some of the layouts where bloody amazing, some I could not read, as tears where streaming down my face, they all embrassed the opportunity to be brutually honest about what they do with their hands.


My reason for doing this layout was so that in many many years, when I am no longer here, my grandchildren, can place their hands in / over mine, and I'll be holding their hands, if you know what I mean. plus remember when you where a child, you where always compairing your hands to your mums, well imagine your grandchildren and great-grandchildren been able to compair their hands to your's, what an amazing thougth.

Anyway, I really do go on don't I, my reason for posting this, is I have been asked by Kirsty if she could use this idea for a world wide BOM Challenge, to say I'm over the bloody moon about it, is an understatement, but lets be honest here, I don't own the patent on handprints, I've looked into it, but nope can't get it, it appears they are all your own. So I'm encouraging you to jump right over to kirsty's blog right this minute and join in the fun. last years prize was amazing and this years appears to also be so, so come on, even if you hate pics of yourself, you can still join in, no pics required, just your amazing hands, and lets face it they are amazing, look at all the things those hands do for you and your family and friends.

here is my layout of both my hands and feet for you to have a look at. I've added no embellishements as wanted to keep it simple for the class, but I'll tell you something for nothing, this will not be the last time I do this. I've even done this with my nephew and neice and I'm planning on doing it with Gerry and Ben, imagine a whole album full of hand and feet prints, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhhhhhh, might whiff abit.

I'm still here

only just mind you though. The retreat was amazing, I can't believe its over, it flew by so quickly, but what a ball I and everyone else had. The hotel was brilliant, food, out of this world, classes WOW, teachers - Kirsty and Heather, bloody amazing and the rest of the girls, well what a funny lot they where, I had to change my pants a few times during the retreat, cause they had me laughing so hard, I kept on peeing my pants.

I have not had a chance to do anything since I arrived home, not even take pics of the classes as so mad busy with the house, ahhhhhhhhhhh, its really getting to me now, honestly I can't wait for it to be finished, but the end looks nowhere in site.

One thing I have done though is upload the Flap book to the Lippy Chick website, so quick go on over and check it out. I adore this book, it is by far my fave of them all.

A couple of quick thank you's, Kirsty, your such an amazing person, you give so much of yourself to everyone and I truly appreciate it. You are a brilliant teacher and friend.

Heather, I loved your classes and the way you threw yourself in, you are such good company as well, I really appreciate that you care so deeply about people's feelings and the small gestures you make, they really are appreciated and I adore you. PS. thanks for the flowers and the tissues.

Angela, what more could a girl ask for in a business partner, your are bloody brilliant, you work so effortlessy (not even sure if thats a word, but you know what I mean) and I can't believe you actually managed some layouts, you never seemed to sit still for a moment.

Clair and June, OH MY GOD, you do realise I'm sending you my laundry bill for my knickers, I have not laughed so much, wish I could bottle you both and pull you out when I need a giggle. I will miss you clair when you go to Aus, but know we will keep in touch via email. xxx

and to the rest of the girls, you all know who you are, Thank you for making the retreat such a pleasant place to be, it was so relaxed and friendly, considering the majority of us where strangers, I think our friends list has just grown.

I can't wait to do it all again, and Me and Angela are now looking for a date to suit everyone for next year, with a possible change of location. Watch this space for further details.

Joke of the day is from Clair.

Blonde phones the fire brigade to tell them her house is on fire, Fire man says "how do we get there", "hello" says the blonde "In the big red F***ing fire truck".

Edited to remove swear words, hee hee,

Kissy wissy's to you all. xxx

LA - Here I come

Today is the start of our Luxurious Angels retreat, I'm about to leave the house, but wanted to wish all you out there in a blogger world a great weekend. I'll post again on Monday with pics of the classes and everything else.

Take care

Roz

Joke of the Day:

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.
She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Yahoo, I can share

Lianne over at Little silver hat has posted the layouts I made for her in her gallery, so now I can share them with you. I loved making these two layouts, they both took hours, but they are two of my faves. I love them.

The first one is a pic of me and Kirsty taken at the retreat she organised way back last summer with her and Emily Falconbridge, she also used the same pic in of the mags for a photography workshop series she has been working on, I machine stitched all the ribbons on, then ran around the outside of the layout and also down the side underneath the title.

The second layout is of my adorable son Benjamin and my two nephews Daniel and Gerard, taken a few years ago, got the boys on the see saw and snapped away. Poem was off a website and so suited the photo and hassle I had in getting a good pic of them all. The ribbons on the layout are used in reverse as the lovely brown colour went so well.


News from home: Well the roof has got the better of me, I've had to book a day off work tomorrow to stay home whilst I get a variety of roofers out to inspect it. No doubt they will all have saggy bottoms, big waists and massive quotes to match, they will all suck in the breath through the teeth when asked for a price to do the work,they will quote a price that is equivalent to that of paying off a third world country's debt and I'll be picked up off the floor and then in a tearful manner will politely tell them to bugger off.

Better news, we have half the wallpaper for the stairs and fingers crossed the other half will be here at the weekend.

Now I need to go and move my bottom as the decorator is making those coughing noises indicating he wants a drink and I'm the mug to make it for him.

Hope your all ok, take care of yourselves, kissy wissy's xxx

Joke of the Day:

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was a cripple."

See I am a photographer

Ha ha, not really, but I did go out last night and play near the motorway.

Managed to get some shots of car lights zooming by, quite pleased with them I am.

What a night we had, at 3am, Gerry woke me up to tell me our drip was back and landing right on his head, so up we get, pull the bed out, and then check out the damage, well the water was coming right down over our lovely new plastered wall, so upto the attic it was for Gerry, over an hour later and we where finally ready to go back to bed.

I can now admit that my house is driving me insane. I seriously can't stand to come home to it, incase its got another nasty surprise for me.

Decorator is getting on great though, today he took out our doors that seperate the kitchen from the dining room, we use to have massive double doors, which where full of tiny panes of glass, a complete nightmare to clean and the thought of painting them had us all in cold sweats, so we have decided to block it up, and have one door going between the two rooms, yahoo, also means that the wall it sits on, will have to be plastered so we will be rid of the dreaded artex. But, yes there is always a but, I had only brought enough wallpaper to do the other three walls, so have been on the phone hunting down paper to complete the room. I can't believe the hassle we have had, we could not get the paper anywhere, so went direct to the manufacturer and they are charging us more than B&Q did. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww, can you believe that, some cheek they have. Then we decided to hell with it, lets really bankrupt ourselves and have the hall stairs and landing papered as well, so again another search for the paper, we have ended up having to get it from two seperate stores with the same batch number, unbelieveable.

Honestly if this house is not the most stunning house in the world when its finished, then I'm gonna chuck myself off a bridge. I know that motorway bridge I was on last night might do the trick. (only joking, I could never do that).

OK, thats me bored you enough now, I've no scrapping news to report, other than I have sat and cut out over 570 hearts out for one of my classes at the retreat this weekend and would quite glady pay money to never see another love heart again.

I need to get into my scrap room to sort out some things for the auction, but it will have to wait till tomorrow as I'm far to tired to even consider fighting the building debri that seperates me from my beloved room.

Joke of the Day: is from Clair, thanks clair had me laughing for ages.
How to Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.I was actually laughing out loud to this !!!
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice
stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ( I am
currently trying to find where I can purchase this)
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake w1lly at her making the 'woo-woo'
sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your w1lly and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the
whole time.
Admire w1lly size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake W1lly at her and make the 'woo-woo'
sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE ITS TRUE!!!

I am now a professional Photographer

Or at least I would be if I was not so pants at it, ha ha. I spent an amazing weekend learning at the feet of Kirsty Wiseman and Natalie O'Shea, and even though these two amazing ladies shared their vast wealth of knowledge with me, I still could not get it, but hey, what do you expect for somebody who has no understand whatsoever of F stop and Shutter speed. I will admit that a lot of information clicked into place though and I'm much more confident of taking pics now and playing around.

Here are a few pics I got at the weekend, we where trying to create depth of field, but for the life of me I could not get it with people, but give me a traffic cone and yahoo I'm on a roll for at least two pics, then nothing, blahhhhhhhhhhh. With Natalie we where doing Shutter speed and I got some brilliant pics of cars whizzing by as you can see. Tilt your head to the side, hee hee

We also had two amazing classes, one taught by Kirsty, which I loved, I'll share the pics after the weekend of the layout, as something very similiar is going to be taught at the Luxurious Angels retreat,and a stunning class by Debbie. Debbie was so nervous as this was her first time teaching, but OMG, that woman was amazing, her class was stunning and she had all the confidence of a pro whilst teaching, I was so chuffed for her and that everyone loved it.

Had the best company as well all weekend, Heather was my passenger and the radio was not turned on once, we blethered the whole way there and back, We stayed at Janes over the weekend which was great, did not arrive till late, had a big bottle of bubbly to down, to help celebrate her becoming a mummy to two lovely little girls and then off to bed for an early start. Me and Heather tried to sneak in some pics of Jodrell Bank but the weather was pants, so thats been put on hold till hopefully the next time we are in the area, and knowing us two, it won't be that long.

News on the home front is, the Decorator has started, yahoo, he has stripped my lounge today and painted the ceiling, and wow what a diffence that makes already, I have picked really lovely papers for the lounge, dining room and our bedroom and paint for everywhere else, and I can't wait till he is finished and we can start getting the house back into order. The roof is still leaking though, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. How hard is it to fix a bloody hole. ok, fair enough, they don't actually know where the hole is, but for godsakes, just bloody fix it already.

OK enough of my news, here is the joke of the day:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said:” Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"

Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."

Take care of yourselves, kissy wissy's to you all. xxx

Positive thinking really works

Yahoo

My friend got the news she was so desperately waiting for and the news was Yes, she is now the proud mummy to two wonderful little girls, yahoo. Thank you so much to everyone for your positive thoughts, I've over the moon by the news, and will see my friend tomorrow and crack open a bottle of bubbly with her to celebrate, yahooooooooooooo.

News to report............... Builders are still here. Roofer said he had fixed the leak, but oh no he has'nt its back today, wonderful... Not.

Could not find my hairdryer this morning, so ended up drying hair in loo at work with hand-dryer.......... Classy........ Not.

Scrapping........ Nil points......... can't get in my ruddy room and if I could everything is covered in dust.

And thats the news in brief from the O'Hanlon household.

Joke of the day is another corker from Kirsty, now you have to imagine a chinese accent.

A chinese family are arriving home from there holidays and getting out of a taxi when the bin men says to them "Where is your bin", Chinese lady says "we bin to Hong Kong", "no" says the bin man "Where is your bin", Chinese lady says "we bin to Hong Kong", "no" says the bin man "Where is your wheelie bin", Chinese lady says "No we weally bin to Hong Kong".

Hee hee, blame Cyclopes not me.

Take care and kissy wissy's to you all. xxx

I'm Home

Phew, what a weekend, I've done over 600 miles and all in my DH car, hee hee, he paid the petrol as well, what a relief as I'm skint.

Arrived at Janes on Saturday afternoon, and spent a fair few hours in her fantastic scraproom, making a class kit for the upcoming Luxurious Angels Retreat, and what a class it will be, I will be letting them all loose on my latest creation for the Lippy Chick range. I love the new book, I love it, love it, love it. Then we all tottled over the road to one of Jane's neighbours house, where we spent far to much time playing shuffle board, or something like that, a fantastic nights entertainment, even if I was rubbish at it.

Did not get to bed till after 1am, which was a bit of a problem as me and Jane where up at 7am to go to Stitches. Traffic was a nightmare, and I mean a nightmare, I so hate the M6, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Finally made it in, and met up with Kirsty and we spent a few hours wandering around, uhhhhhhhh and ahhhhhhhhhhh over the new products in the market. Must admit though, not much really caught my eye, expect a few paper ranges and some fantastic thick felt, got to get my hands on some of that. I met up with a few friends and even got to see Tracie at the Scrapgenie stand where she was demonstrating. I must say, the Scrapgenie stand was by far my favourite, there was so much to look at, and the Design teams work is amazing. I even got a sneaky look at there new mag and again, wow, brilliant, can't wait for it to come out.

I never got the meeting I was so hoping for, as the person was mad mad busy, but we did exchange a few bits of info and I'm now waiting to hear with bated breath for some news, so watch this space.

After lunch with arms heavy with brochures we went back to Jane's and spent a couple of hours absorbing all the brochures, ate a fantastic dinner and then chilled out with a movie - The devil wears Prada - great girly movie.

Next day I stopped in at Kirsty's and spent the morning with Kirsty and Ellie at a doctors appointment, I have know Kirsty for a while now and have met Ellie before, but never had I fully understood the extent of Ellie's health problems, but now I do, and I'm full of admiration for Kirsty, Ellie and Mark, how they have coped with the system and the obsticles they have put down in front of them, I don't know, I know had it been me, I would have lost the plot a long time ago. Ellie is amazing, I adore that child, she is so chatty when she gets to know somebody, and she was so happy to have me hanging around. I truly felt honoured and emotional by it all.

Once we dropped Ellie back at school, we went back to Kirsty's scraproom, I was honoured to be the first real scrapper to be allowed to be set free in it, since its transformation, and wow, what a great room, Mark has done a wonderful job on it, everything is organised, so you don't have to move to reach anything, just a slight stretch and you have what you want in your hand. We played for hours and hours, I had a ball and I'm sure Kirsty enjoyed herself too.

Kirsty and Ellie took me out for my tea to make sure I was suitably fuelled up for the journey home, and we spent ages talking and laughing, A truly enjoyable Weekend.

I got home around midnight last night and collapsed into a heap on the sofa bed that is now our home for a few more days as the builders have destroyed my bedroom, all in the name of building works.

Builders should hopefully fingers crossed be finished on Friday and the decorator is then let loose for 2 weeks and then, oh gosh the list goes on, I won't bore you with it.

My joke of the day came from Kirsty, so blame her if you don't like it, me, I loved it, had me chuckling to myself for hours on the drive home.

Two guys are walking by a shop and they stop and look in the window, one guy says to his mate, "that's the one I'd get" his pal says "what" and the guy again says "that's the one I'd get" then a cyclopes comes out and batters him.

Hee hee, wait till tomorrow night for the next one.

Take care of yourselves, kissy wissy's to you all. xxxx.

PS. Everyone, please keep your fingers, toes and eyes crossed on Weds between 11.30am and 12 noon as a friend of mine is waiting on the most awesome news and it will all be decided during this time. Thank you so much, positive thoughts make for a postive life and I so want this friend to have all her dreams come true. Thank you.

Getting ready for the weekend

Well I'm off tomorrow to stitches and I've not packed a thing, and to be honest I really can't be bothered, but I know thats just cause I feel a bit blue today and I will probably have a great time.

The workmen are finshed for the weekend, but have advised me they won't be finished on Tuesday as they where originally meant to be, which means I now have to push my decorator back. My house is like a buiding site, the interior front door had to come down today and the wall that houses it, so our house is now really drafty and cold.

Today was my day off work, I planned a few errands, some crafting, packing and tidying up the house. The only thing I've managed to achieve off my list is the tidy up, Spent far to many hours going through the house, wiping over every surface, changing bedding and hoovering and mopping than I care to think about, and 2 minutes after I'm done, it looks as bad as when I started. I'm honestly fighting a losing battle against the dust, and I'm happy to declare the dust has won this battle.

Anyway, enough of my moans, let talk about something good.

Do you all know about the BOM Challenge's that Kirsty and me do on UKS, NO, well get your bottom over to the site now and join in. here is the link. . This months prompt is by Kirsty, you have to think of an emotion, then the colour that represents that emotion and use the colour and the word on your layout with a pic of you.

This is the layout I did for it. Now when I finished this layout I can tell you, I was really angry, cause I had spent ages doing the journalling all around the outside edge, it starts in a specific point and stupid old me, went and stuck
the blooming picture upside down, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.



So if you fancy making a book all about yourself, and lets be honest here, if you don't make it, who the hell will, get your peeps over to the thread and join in, anybody can join in at any time they like, no rules, just prompts to inspire you hopefully.

Anyway, I best go and pack and sort myself out. I'm hoping to come home with some good news, and if I get the news I'm after I'll share it with you all. please keep your fingers crossed for me.

Joke of the day: Children would all be brought up perfectly if families would just swap kids. Everyone knows what ought to be done with the neighbor’s kids.

OMG, I got a place

I won a place on the Angel Crafts Design Team, Yahoo, toot toot, whoppppyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

I know I already do alot with Angela and for her shop, but I seriously did not expect to still be doing that once she put the call out for her DT, I did actually see one or two of the applications when we where working together on the Luxurious Angels Retreat stuff, and OMG, I was blown away, such amazing super scrappers out there, and I'm so honoured to have been put in amongst them. I only hope I can do Angela and her business justice.

I have had to step down though from the Kraft Stop Design team, not because Angela asked or anything, but I did not want to over stretch myself and I would have hated to have had to say no to such a wonderful opportunity. Lynn over at Kraft Stop understood which was great.

I've finally finished the Lippy Chick site, and I love it, love it, love it. If anybody fancy's a sneak peek at my new book, which is going to be launched in March nip over and check out the coming soon page, and all will be revealed. hee hee

I'm away this weekend at Stitches in Birmingham, which I'm so looking forward to, I leave on Saturday and get to spend the night at the amazing Lisa T's or Jane as her mum likes to call her, hee hee, then Sunday we go to Stitches, meet up with tons of friends, get to see all the new scrummy products about to hit the market and have tons of coffee and cakes and gossip. Then on Monday, I'm gonna visit a few more friends in the Manchester area and then homewards bound I go. I can't wait, an opportunity to leave this building site will be fantastic. I actually feel quite sorry for Gerry, as I have the next 3 weekends planned away and he has to stay in the stinky dusty pit we call our home.

We are currently sharing our bathroom with a wardrobe, chest of drawers and a bedside table, its making for a tight squeeze to the shower and toilet, hee hee, good job we are all slim in this house.

Ben got a valentines card today, and his face is a pure picture, trying to figure out who its from, he let me take pics of him opening it, etc and I'm planning on having a go at the pencil lines sketch with the pics once I've downloaded them. I got one card, mmmmmmmhhhhhhhh wonder who that was from ????

Did you get any cards????

Anyway, Desperate Housewives is about to start, so I'm off, catch you all later.

Kissy Wissy's xxx

Joke of the day:
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says,
"All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, "ALLLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine".
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers "Aleeee ooop" in the horse's ear. The same thing happens -- the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it" and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.
The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies,
"Nothing is wrong with me -- it's this bloody horse. What is he -- deaf or something?"
The trainer replies, "Deaf?? DEAF?? He's not deaf -- he's BLIND!"

New Website

I've spent the last 48 hours changing my ISP for Lippy Chick, what a nightmare websites are. I've now managed to get something I'm so happy with, I love the look of the new site, its gonna take quite a while to get all the images up on it, but oh, it will be so worth it.

Nip on over and check it out - Lippy Chick.

And more news on the Lippy Chick front, the new books arrived today, I've now got to pack them, and work on the marketing material that will go with them, so excited. The new book is scrummy, I honestly can't pick a favourite amongst them all, I just love them all to bits.

Forgot to say, I now have my hands on the Scrapbook Inspirations feature, yahoo, and thanks to everyone who offered to buy me one / email me a copy, etc. I love you all so much for that. What a feature it is, its 3 whole pages, OMG, how amazing is that. My little company is growing, Wahoooooooooooo.

News on the home front, is not good. It rained over the weekend and our beloved leak is back, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I don't bloody believe it, yes I know I sound like Victor Meldrow and if you had been in my house over the weekend I would have looked like him as well. So today the roofer came out and yes you guessed it, he is gonna have to do more work and yes its gonna cost me another organ, not sure I have many left to sell now, just a dodgy liver and heart. Never mind, I'll start on Gerry's instead, his are bound to fetch a higher price. hee hee.

Seriously though, this could actually hold up the work of the renovation people, which I'm not bloody happy about at all.

Ben is off school on a half term break and is annoying the hell out of his dad, hee hee, I'm so glad I have to actually leave the house to go to work, I would so hate to be working from home at the moment, with all the noise, dust, builders and BEN.

Anyway, I best get on with the fabby dabby new website. you take care of yourselves.

Joke of the Day: One day Bill Clinton was talking to Hillary. He was going on a vacation and before he left said, "Whatever you do don't look under my bed." So while Bill was on vacation Hillary got curious and decided to look under his bed. She found a million dollars and 2 empty beer cans. When Bill came home she said, "What's with the two beer cans under your bed?" Bill replied, "Oh. That marks all the times I've cheated on you." "Well, I forgive you," said Hillary, "But then what's with the million dollars?" He replied, "I've started to recycle."

Dust

Dust is everywhere, its even up my nose, seriously it is. Can't decide if we should even attempt to clean it up, or just leave it, as it will only get worse.

Spent Friday all day working on Luxurious Angels website and class schedules, and we got them emailed out to all the girls at last, yahoo. Now we just have to finish the kits off and we are done. Can't believe its less than 3 weeks off, seems to have flown in so quickly.

Tomorrow I plan to work on a couple of layouts using some stash I've had squirrelled away for a while but thought was to nice to open, well not any more, I've put myself on a stash diet, so if I want to make anything, I'm forcing myself to use up current stash. Mind you though, I did cave in when I saw the stunning Hambly range Angela has in stock over at Angel crafts, so did sneak a few off them into my ever growing room, hee hee, don't tell anybody though.

We also need to move more furniture for the builders, dismantle beds and wardrobes and find somewhere to store them whilst the work continues, so looks like a busy day is planned.

Anyway, thats it from me, hope your all ok.

Take care. kissy wissy's to you all. xxx

Joke of the day:
Woman phones up her husband at work for a chat.
HIM "I'm sorry dear but I'm up to my neck in work today."

HER "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you dear."

HIM "OK darling, but as I've got no time now, just give me the good news."

HER "Well, the air bag works."

Chaos

Well the work has started in earnest, this is a pic of my lounge, after the workmen had left for the day on Weds. Thursday they spent in my front vestibule and today they are in my hall. Everywhere has a thick layer of dust perched nicely on it and the house has a horrible smell to it. I was hoping they would do the work they needed to do downstairs before making their way upstairs, but oh no, they have said its easier to do all the destruction in one go, so this weekend will see us packing everything in the bedrooms away, and moving the beds to lie on the walls and then the three of us all moving into one room at the back of the house downstairs.

I'm not sure I will be able to cope with it all, already my clothes are wrecked, everything is covered in dust and the air is thick. The only thing to have escaped it so far is my craft room, but seeing as my mojo ran away from home last week, I've spent no time in there at all.

I'm off work today, and am planning on having a tidy up in my craft room, going with the saying, tidy house, tidy mind, in the hope that my mojo is just hiding out in there.

What have you all got planned for the weekend???

Anyway, have to go, workmen shouting for more tea.

Joke of the day:
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."