Such a Happy Ending.....

This is another one from Natalie, thanks Nat, this is great.

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife.

"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could

Think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..."

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,

"You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the

Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... you know...there's swearing, dirty

words and all that...""You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren't going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?"

........and, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?

Why Women need catalogues

I got this in an email from one of the girls that is coming to the Luxurious Angels Scrapbooking Experience, and I honestly have not laughed so hard in .... Well probably hours, cause I do laugh alot.
Thanks Natalie, you made me almost pee my pants.

Man of the house

This joke had me wiping coffee off my screen, sent from my friend Jane. Thanks Jane, any idea how I get coffee out of my nostrils.

MAN OF THE HOUSE


The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'YOU CAN BE
THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'. He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and
announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this

house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight,

and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous

dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will

have the kind of sex that I want.


Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will

wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will

massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me

and comb my hair?



'The wife replied, 'The fuckin' funeral director would be my first guess.

What Fruit are you?

I got this off Cal's blog, let me know what fruit you are.

You Are an Orange

You have a zest for life, especially for anything colorful, wild, or dramatic. You have a unique take on the world, and you're not afraid to be a little funky. You are a bit reserved toward people who don't know you well. You have a thick skin, which can protect you from anything that goes wrong in your life. Once someone does get to know you, they totally get and appreciate you. Your friends see you as a bright person with a refreshing take on life.

What Type of Fruit Are You?

For Elin

A man who was born with no arms wished to seek employment. Fearing nobody would want to hire him with his obvious disability, he thought he'd answer a help wanted sign he saw posted at his church. He rang the bell at the rectory and when the pastor opened the door he was moved with pity. He asked, "What can I do for you, my son?" The man said I've come to answer your help wanted ad. The pastor became concerned and said that ad is for a bell ringer. He stammered that he didn't think he'd be able to handle the job. The man pleaded and said won't you give me a chance so I can show you what I'm capable of? The pastor relented and hired him. The time came when the church bell had to be rung. The man made his way under the bell, took a running start and threw his body against the bell which resulted in a booming "BONNGGGG" as soon as the vibrations subsided, he took another running start and threw his body into the other side of the bell with the expected result of "BONNNGG" . . . and so it went. Now our armless friend was at the job for several months to the delight of the pastor. One day the guy was running late and in his haste he ran up to the belfry and got his running leap at the bell without first getting under the bell. As he ran right off the side of the tower he screamed. Everyone from within the church filed out and just stared. Finally somebody said "poor fellow, does anybody knows who he is?" To which came the answer from someone in the back . . . "I don't know his name, but his face sure rings a bell."

And that is not the only one.......

We have additional retreats planned for Scotland, more news to follow on that very very very soon.

This is such an exciting time for me, The hotel in Crewe is amazing and the plans to expand where always on the table, and where been discussed as far back as November last year. And I've had a great time travelling around looking at locations, some not so hot, some amazing.

So now you know why I've not been blogging, I've been far to busy searching for the perfect spots to hold the new Luxurious Angels Scrapping Experiences.

Now I'm back home and all ready for the summer, so can somebody tell the sun to come out.

I'll start back with the joke of the day again soon, just give me a short while to get back into the swing of this.

Take care of yourselves

Do you want to join me for an amazing Scrapbooking Experience......

Luxurious Angels, in association with Sarah's Cards Ltd are proud to present a scrapbooking experience.....

10th to 12th October 2008 - Wychwood Park, Crewe ****4 Star DeVere Hotel

The cost for the entire weekend will be £260.00 per person per weekend (based on two sharing a twin or double room, single supplement of £25.00 per person per night is applied if you wish to have a single room).

A payment plan is available if you wish to manage the fee which can be broken down as £100 deposit now, an additional £100 by end of July and balance payable by end of August.

The package includes:Lunch and dinner on Friday Breakfast, lunch & dinner on Saturday
Breakfast & Lunch on Sunday.

5 Classes (no need to choose as each delegete will experience the same classes together)
Ample cropping space
Make's and takes
Challenges
Games
Goody bag
Use of all the hotel's leisure facilities (including spa).

Delegates can bring along their husbands/partners who are golf fanatics if they wish too, at a reduced rate of £199.00. This would include dinner on the Friday, breakfast and dinner on the Saturday and Breakfast on the Sunday. Lunch can be arranged in the Claret Jug (19th Hole!) at an additional fee if they wish. Your partners will qualify for a discounted rate of £25.00 per tee off, assuming they book quickly. Remember to tell them that it’s a PGA course - apparently that means something to golfers!

Teachers
5 excellent classes have been planned by some of your favourite teachers as we type!
They are:
Roz Carter
Suzanne Torr
Kirsty Wiseman

Shop til you drop

Sarahs Cards Ltd will be on site and demand for all those scrapping essentials including all their latest deliveries from CHA Summer 2008.

If you are interested in joining us for this fabulous experience, please contact Sarah or Roz at info@sarahscardsltd.com or info@luxuriousangels.co.uk

Rest

I'm taking a rest from Blogging and from the scrapping world for a short period of time.

A well deserved break I would say, I'll be back soon though and hopefully with news of the next Luxurious Angels retreat.

Take care of yourselves girls and I'll see you all soon.