Heavy Heart

I'm gonna do something which I have taken alot of time to consider before doing. what I'm about to say was written over two weeks ago but I've now decided to post this as I feel that I need to clear a few things up and get closure on certain areas of my life.

This is what I wrote

Apparently I'm a BULLY, or at least that's what I've been told by somebody I thought was a friend. Her comments made me think about my behaviour and you know what, SHE'S wrong. I may come across as forthright, upfront and honest, but not in a bad way. I have standards that are high, nothing wrong in that though as far as I'm concerned. We all want the best we can get. If somebody offers to to do something for me then I expect them to do what they offerd to do and to do it to a standard I consider suitable. If you can't do that, then don't bother to offer your services. Ain't life a bitch, when somebody offers to do something for you and then they let you down right at the moment wehn you need them. I understand that things crop up that we don't expect to happen but by jove surely that was why the phone was invented so that you could communicate with people and if necessary explain the change in circumstances.

This so called friend has let me down in the past and I've foolishly accepted her apologies. We have had discussions about it and forgiven and forgotten, but today I really needed the help this friend had so freely offered and was so dissapointed to be let down again.

So I've decided that I no longer need people in my life who I feel let me down and dissappoint me and in the process make me feel bad about myself.

So you know who you are. I want to say to you, I hope you find the inner strength you need to work out all your problems and that you have a happy and fulfilled life. Take care of yourself and your family.

Now you might find this a strange thing to write, but at the time it helped me deal with the hurt this friends comment caused me, however since then, I have suffered with my heart again, and I'm convinced and so is my doctor that it is all down to the stress that I was under due to this and the things that happened. I'm not gonna tell you all that happened, but needless to say, I was very very very scared by this persons actions and did feel very threatened by them.

I've had a few weeks of stress to cope with, but now feel its all over. Hopefully this person and me can move on with our lives and on from this episode, don't think we will ever be friends again, but I don't wish this person any badness only love and happiness.

We learn so much from the way other people behave and how we react to it and the old saying is true, 'that what does not kill us will only make us stronger'

I have learnt alot from this friend, and I will miss her dearly. I truly believed we would be friends for life.

thanks for letting me get this off my chest, I do feel better and hope she does too.

Take care of yourselves and love and happiness to you all.

Kissy Wissy's

xxx