Yahoo, I can share

Lianne over at Little silver hat has posted the layouts I made for her in her gallery, so now I can share them with you. I loved making these two layouts, they both took hours, but they are two of my faves. I love them.

The first one is a pic of me and Kirsty taken at the retreat she organised way back last summer with her and Emily Falconbridge, she also used the same pic in of the mags for a photography workshop series she has been working on, I machine stitched all the ribbons on, then ran around the outside of the layout and also down the side underneath the title.

The second layout is of my adorable son Benjamin and my two nephews Daniel and Gerard, taken a few years ago, got the boys on the see saw and snapped away. Poem was off a website and so suited the photo and hassle I had in getting a good pic of them all. The ribbons on the layout are used in reverse as the lovely brown colour went so well.


News from home: Well the roof has got the better of me, I've had to book a day off work tomorrow to stay home whilst I get a variety of roofers out to inspect it. No doubt they will all have saggy bottoms, big waists and massive quotes to match, they will all suck in the breath through the teeth when asked for a price to do the work,they will quote a price that is equivalent to that of paying off a third world country's debt and I'll be picked up off the floor and then in a tearful manner will politely tell them to bugger off.

Better news, we have half the wallpaper for the stairs and fingers crossed the other half will be here at the weekend.

Now I need to go and move my bottom as the decorator is making those coughing noises indicating he wants a drink and I'm the mug to make it for him.

Hope your all ok, take care of yourselves, kissy wissy's xxx

Joke of the Day:

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was a cripple."

See I am a photographer

Ha ha, not really, but I did go out last night and play near the motorway.

Managed to get some shots of car lights zooming by, quite pleased with them I am.

What a night we had, at 3am, Gerry woke me up to tell me our drip was back and landing right on his head, so up we get, pull the bed out, and then check out the damage, well the water was coming right down over our lovely new plastered wall, so upto the attic it was for Gerry, over an hour later and we where finally ready to go back to bed.

I can now admit that my house is driving me insane. I seriously can't stand to come home to it, incase its got another nasty surprise for me.

Decorator is getting on great though, today he took out our doors that seperate the kitchen from the dining room, we use to have massive double doors, which where full of tiny panes of glass, a complete nightmare to clean and the thought of painting them had us all in cold sweats, so we have decided to block it up, and have one door going between the two rooms, yahoo, also means that the wall it sits on, will have to be plastered so we will be rid of the dreaded artex. But, yes there is always a but, I had only brought enough wallpaper to do the other three walls, so have been on the phone hunting down paper to complete the room. I can't believe the hassle we have had, we could not get the paper anywhere, so went direct to the manufacturer and they are charging us more than B&Q did. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww, can you believe that, some cheek they have. Then we decided to hell with it, lets really bankrupt ourselves and have the hall stairs and landing papered as well, so again another search for the paper, we have ended up having to get it from two seperate stores with the same batch number, unbelieveable.

Honestly if this house is not the most stunning house in the world when its finished, then I'm gonna chuck myself off a bridge. I know that motorway bridge I was on last night might do the trick. (only joking, I could never do that).

OK, thats me bored you enough now, I've no scrapping news to report, other than I have sat and cut out over 570 hearts out for one of my classes at the retreat this weekend and would quite glady pay money to never see another love heart again.

I need to get into my scrap room to sort out some things for the auction, but it will have to wait till tomorrow as I'm far to tired to even consider fighting the building debri that seperates me from my beloved room.

Joke of the Day: is from Clair, thanks clair had me laughing for ages.
How to Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.I was actually laughing out loud to this !!!
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice
stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ( I am
currently trying to find where I can purchase this)
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake w1lly at her making the 'woo-woo'
sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your w1lly and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the
whole time.
Admire w1lly size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake W1lly at her and make the 'woo-woo'
sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE ITS TRUE!!!

I am now a professional Photographer

Or at least I would be if I was not so pants at it, ha ha. I spent an amazing weekend learning at the feet of Kirsty Wiseman and Natalie O'Shea, and even though these two amazing ladies shared their vast wealth of knowledge with me, I still could not get it, but hey, what do you expect for somebody who has no understand whatsoever of F stop and Shutter speed. I will admit that a lot of information clicked into place though and I'm much more confident of taking pics now and playing around.

Here are a few pics I got at the weekend, we where trying to create depth of field, but for the life of me I could not get it with people, but give me a traffic cone and yahoo I'm on a roll for at least two pics, then nothing, blahhhhhhhhhhh. With Natalie we where doing Shutter speed and I got some brilliant pics of cars whizzing by as you can see. Tilt your head to the side, hee hee

We also had two amazing classes, one taught by Kirsty, which I loved, I'll share the pics after the weekend of the layout, as something very similiar is going to be taught at the Luxurious Angels retreat,and a stunning class by Debbie. Debbie was so nervous as this was her first time teaching, but OMG, that woman was amazing, her class was stunning and she had all the confidence of a pro whilst teaching, I was so chuffed for her and that everyone loved it.

Had the best company as well all weekend, Heather was my passenger and the radio was not turned on once, we blethered the whole way there and back, We stayed at Janes over the weekend which was great, did not arrive till late, had a big bottle of bubbly to down, to help celebrate her becoming a mummy to two lovely little girls and then off to bed for an early start. Me and Heather tried to sneak in some pics of Jodrell Bank but the weather was pants, so thats been put on hold till hopefully the next time we are in the area, and knowing us two, it won't be that long.

News on the home front is, the Decorator has started, yahoo, he has stripped my lounge today and painted the ceiling, and wow what a diffence that makes already, I have picked really lovely papers for the lounge, dining room and our bedroom and paint for everywhere else, and I can't wait till he is finished and we can start getting the house back into order. The roof is still leaking though, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. How hard is it to fix a bloody hole. ok, fair enough, they don't actually know where the hole is, but for godsakes, just bloody fix it already.

OK enough of my news, here is the joke of the day:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said:” Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"

Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"

Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."

Take care of yourselves, kissy wissy's to you all. xxx

Positive thinking really works

Yahoo

My friend got the news she was so desperately waiting for and the news was Yes, she is now the proud mummy to two wonderful little girls, yahoo. Thank you so much to everyone for your positive thoughts, I've over the moon by the news, and will see my friend tomorrow and crack open a bottle of bubbly with her to celebrate, yahooooooooooooo.

News to report............... Builders are still here. Roofer said he had fixed the leak, but oh no he has'nt its back today, wonderful... Not.

Could not find my hairdryer this morning, so ended up drying hair in loo at work with hand-dryer.......... Classy........ Not.

Scrapping........ Nil points......... can't get in my ruddy room and if I could everything is covered in dust.

And thats the news in brief from the O'Hanlon household.

Joke of the day is another corker from Kirsty, now you have to imagine a chinese accent.

A chinese family are arriving home from there holidays and getting out of a taxi when the bin men says to them "Where is your bin", Chinese lady says "we bin to Hong Kong", "no" says the bin man "Where is your bin", Chinese lady says "we bin to Hong Kong", "no" says the bin man "Where is your wheelie bin", Chinese lady says "No we weally bin to Hong Kong".

Hee hee, blame Cyclopes not me.

Take care and kissy wissy's to you all. xxx

I'm Home

Phew, what a weekend, I've done over 600 miles and all in my DH car, hee hee, he paid the petrol as well, what a relief as I'm skint.

Arrived at Janes on Saturday afternoon, and spent a fair few hours in her fantastic scraproom, making a class kit for the upcoming Luxurious Angels Retreat, and what a class it will be, I will be letting them all loose on my latest creation for the Lippy Chick range. I love the new book, I love it, love it, love it. Then we all tottled over the road to one of Jane's neighbours house, where we spent far to much time playing shuffle board, or something like that, a fantastic nights entertainment, even if I was rubbish at it.

Did not get to bed till after 1am, which was a bit of a problem as me and Jane where up at 7am to go to Stitches. Traffic was a nightmare, and I mean a nightmare, I so hate the M6, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Finally made it in, and met up with Kirsty and we spent a few hours wandering around, uhhhhhhhh and ahhhhhhhhhhh over the new products in the market. Must admit though, not much really caught my eye, expect a few paper ranges and some fantastic thick felt, got to get my hands on some of that. I met up with a few friends and even got to see Tracie at the Scrapgenie stand where she was demonstrating. I must say, the Scrapgenie stand was by far my favourite, there was so much to look at, and the Design teams work is amazing. I even got a sneaky look at there new mag and again, wow, brilliant, can't wait for it to come out.

I never got the meeting I was so hoping for, as the person was mad mad busy, but we did exchange a few bits of info and I'm now waiting to hear with bated breath for some news, so watch this space.

After lunch with arms heavy with brochures we went back to Jane's and spent a couple of hours absorbing all the brochures, ate a fantastic dinner and then chilled out with a movie - The devil wears Prada - great girly movie.

Next day I stopped in at Kirsty's and spent the morning with Kirsty and Ellie at a doctors appointment, I have know Kirsty for a while now and have met Ellie before, but never had I fully understood the extent of Ellie's health problems, but now I do, and I'm full of admiration for Kirsty, Ellie and Mark, how they have coped with the system and the obsticles they have put down in front of them, I don't know, I know had it been me, I would have lost the plot a long time ago. Ellie is amazing, I adore that child, she is so chatty when she gets to know somebody, and she was so happy to have me hanging around. I truly felt honoured and emotional by it all.

Once we dropped Ellie back at school, we went back to Kirsty's scraproom, I was honoured to be the first real scrapper to be allowed to be set free in it, since its transformation, and wow, what a great room, Mark has done a wonderful job on it, everything is organised, so you don't have to move to reach anything, just a slight stretch and you have what you want in your hand. We played for hours and hours, I had a ball and I'm sure Kirsty enjoyed herself too.

Kirsty and Ellie took me out for my tea to make sure I was suitably fuelled up for the journey home, and we spent ages talking and laughing, A truly enjoyable Weekend.

I got home around midnight last night and collapsed into a heap on the sofa bed that is now our home for a few more days as the builders have destroyed my bedroom, all in the name of building works.

Builders should hopefully fingers crossed be finished on Friday and the decorator is then let loose for 2 weeks and then, oh gosh the list goes on, I won't bore you with it.

My joke of the day came from Kirsty, so blame her if you don't like it, me, I loved it, had me chuckling to myself for hours on the drive home.

Two guys are walking by a shop and they stop and look in the window, one guy says to his mate, "that's the one I'd get" his pal says "what" and the guy again says "that's the one I'd get" then a cyclopes comes out and batters him.

Hee hee, wait till tomorrow night for the next one.

Take care of yourselves, kissy wissy's to you all. xxxx.

PS. Everyone, please keep your fingers, toes and eyes crossed on Weds between 11.30am and 12 noon as a friend of mine is waiting on the most awesome news and it will all be decided during this time. Thank you so much, positive thoughts make for a postive life and I so want this friend to have all her dreams come true. Thank you.

Getting ready for the weekend

Well I'm off tomorrow to stitches and I've not packed a thing, and to be honest I really can't be bothered, but I know thats just cause I feel a bit blue today and I will probably have a great time.

The workmen are finshed for the weekend, but have advised me they won't be finished on Tuesday as they where originally meant to be, which means I now have to push my decorator back. My house is like a buiding site, the interior front door had to come down today and the wall that houses it, so our house is now really drafty and cold.

Today was my day off work, I planned a few errands, some crafting, packing and tidying up the house. The only thing I've managed to achieve off my list is the tidy up, Spent far to many hours going through the house, wiping over every surface, changing bedding and hoovering and mopping than I care to think about, and 2 minutes after I'm done, it looks as bad as when I started. I'm honestly fighting a losing battle against the dust, and I'm happy to declare the dust has won this battle.

Anyway, enough of my moans, let talk about something good.

Do you all know about the BOM Challenge's that Kirsty and me do on UKS, NO, well get your bottom over to the site now and join in. here is the link. . This months prompt is by Kirsty, you have to think of an emotion, then the colour that represents that emotion and use the colour and the word on your layout with a pic of you.

This is the layout I did for it. Now when I finished this layout I can tell you, I was really angry, cause I had spent ages doing the journalling all around the outside edge, it starts in a specific point and stupid old me, went and stuck
the blooming picture upside down, ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.



So if you fancy making a book all about yourself, and lets be honest here, if you don't make it, who the hell will, get your peeps over to the thread and join in, anybody can join in at any time they like, no rules, just prompts to inspire you hopefully.

Anyway, I best go and pack and sort myself out. I'm hoping to come home with some good news, and if I get the news I'm after I'll share it with you all. please keep your fingers crossed for me.

Joke of the day: Children would all be brought up perfectly if families would just swap kids. Everyone knows what ought to be done with the neighbor’s kids.

OMG, I got a place

I won a place on the Angel Crafts Design Team, Yahoo, toot toot, whoppppyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

I know I already do alot with Angela and for her shop, but I seriously did not expect to still be doing that once she put the call out for her DT, I did actually see one or two of the applications when we where working together on the Luxurious Angels Retreat stuff, and OMG, I was blown away, such amazing super scrappers out there, and I'm so honoured to have been put in amongst them. I only hope I can do Angela and her business justice.

I have had to step down though from the Kraft Stop Design team, not because Angela asked or anything, but I did not want to over stretch myself and I would have hated to have had to say no to such a wonderful opportunity. Lynn over at Kraft Stop understood which was great.

I've finally finished the Lippy Chick site, and I love it, love it, love it. If anybody fancy's a sneak peek at my new book, which is going to be launched in March nip over and check out the coming soon page, and all will be revealed. hee hee

I'm away this weekend at Stitches in Birmingham, which I'm so looking forward to, I leave on Saturday and get to spend the night at the amazing Lisa T's or Jane as her mum likes to call her, hee hee, then Sunday we go to Stitches, meet up with tons of friends, get to see all the new scrummy products about to hit the market and have tons of coffee and cakes and gossip. Then on Monday, I'm gonna visit a few more friends in the Manchester area and then homewards bound I go. I can't wait, an opportunity to leave this building site will be fantastic. I actually feel quite sorry for Gerry, as I have the next 3 weekends planned away and he has to stay in the stinky dusty pit we call our home.

We are currently sharing our bathroom with a wardrobe, chest of drawers and a bedside table, its making for a tight squeeze to the shower and toilet, hee hee, good job we are all slim in this house.

Ben got a valentines card today, and his face is a pure picture, trying to figure out who its from, he let me take pics of him opening it, etc and I'm planning on having a go at the pencil lines sketch with the pics once I've downloaded them. I got one card, mmmmmmmhhhhhhhh wonder who that was from ????

Did you get any cards????

Anyway, Desperate Housewives is about to start, so I'm off, catch you all later.

Kissy Wissy's xxx

Joke of the day:
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says,
"All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, "ALLLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine".
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers "Aleeee ooop" in the horse's ear. The same thing happens -- the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it" and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.
The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies,
"Nothing is wrong with me -- it's this bloody horse. What is he -- deaf or something?"
The trainer replies, "Deaf?? DEAF?? He's not deaf -- he's BLIND!"

New Website

I've spent the last 48 hours changing my ISP for Lippy Chick, what a nightmare websites are. I've now managed to get something I'm so happy with, I love the look of the new site, its gonna take quite a while to get all the images up on it, but oh, it will be so worth it.

Nip on over and check it out - Lippy Chick.

And more news on the Lippy Chick front, the new books arrived today, I've now got to pack them, and work on the marketing material that will go with them, so excited. The new book is scrummy, I honestly can't pick a favourite amongst them all, I just love them all to bits.

Forgot to say, I now have my hands on the Scrapbook Inspirations feature, yahoo, and thanks to everyone who offered to buy me one / email me a copy, etc. I love you all so much for that. What a feature it is, its 3 whole pages, OMG, how amazing is that. My little company is growing, Wahoooooooooooo.

News on the home front, is not good. It rained over the weekend and our beloved leak is back, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I don't bloody believe it, yes I know I sound like Victor Meldrow and if you had been in my house over the weekend I would have looked like him as well. So today the roofer came out and yes you guessed it, he is gonna have to do more work and yes its gonna cost me another organ, not sure I have many left to sell now, just a dodgy liver and heart. Never mind, I'll start on Gerry's instead, his are bound to fetch a higher price. hee hee.

Seriously though, this could actually hold up the work of the renovation people, which I'm not bloody happy about at all.

Ben is off school on a half term break and is annoying the hell out of his dad, hee hee, I'm so glad I have to actually leave the house to go to work, I would so hate to be working from home at the moment, with all the noise, dust, builders and BEN.

Anyway, I best get on with the fabby dabby new website. you take care of yourselves.

Joke of the Day: One day Bill Clinton was talking to Hillary. He was going on a vacation and before he left said, "Whatever you do don't look under my bed." So while Bill was on vacation Hillary got curious and decided to look under his bed. She found a million dollars and 2 empty beer cans. When Bill came home she said, "What's with the two beer cans under your bed?" Bill replied, "Oh. That marks all the times I've cheated on you." "Well, I forgive you," said Hillary, "But then what's with the million dollars?" He replied, "I've started to recycle."

Dust

Dust is everywhere, its even up my nose, seriously it is. Can't decide if we should even attempt to clean it up, or just leave it, as it will only get worse.

Spent Friday all day working on Luxurious Angels website and class schedules, and we got them emailed out to all the girls at last, yahoo. Now we just have to finish the kits off and we are done. Can't believe its less than 3 weeks off, seems to have flown in so quickly.

Tomorrow I plan to work on a couple of layouts using some stash I've had squirrelled away for a while but thought was to nice to open, well not any more, I've put myself on a stash diet, so if I want to make anything, I'm forcing myself to use up current stash. Mind you though, I did cave in when I saw the stunning Hambly range Angela has in stock over at Angel crafts, so did sneak a few off them into my ever growing room, hee hee, don't tell anybody though.

We also need to move more furniture for the builders, dismantle beds and wardrobes and find somewhere to store them whilst the work continues, so looks like a busy day is planned.

Anyway, thats it from me, hope your all ok.

Take care. kissy wissy's to you all. xxx

Joke of the day:
Woman phones up her husband at work for a chat.
HIM "I'm sorry dear but I'm up to my neck in work today."

HER "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you dear."

HIM "OK darling, but as I've got no time now, just give me the good news."

HER "Well, the air bag works."

Chaos

Well the work has started in earnest, this is a pic of my lounge, after the workmen had left for the day on Weds. Thursday they spent in my front vestibule and today they are in my hall. Everywhere has a thick layer of dust perched nicely on it and the house has a horrible smell to it. I was hoping they would do the work they needed to do downstairs before making their way upstairs, but oh no, they have said its easier to do all the destruction in one go, so this weekend will see us packing everything in the bedrooms away, and moving the beds to lie on the walls and then the three of us all moving into one room at the back of the house downstairs.

I'm not sure I will be able to cope with it all, already my clothes are wrecked, everything is covered in dust and the air is thick. The only thing to have escaped it so far is my craft room, but seeing as my mojo ran away from home last week, I've spent no time in there at all.

I'm off work today, and am planning on having a tidy up in my craft room, going with the saying, tidy house, tidy mind, in the hope that my mojo is just hiding out in there.

What have you all got planned for the weekend???

Anyway, have to go, workmen shouting for more tea.

Joke of the day:
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."

Sorry, been so busy not had time to update my blog, and don't have much time just now either, but the builders start tomorrow, so ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Joke of the day is from Clair, thanks hunny.
THE BOTTLE OF WINE

For all of us who are married, were married, wish
You were married, or wish you weren't married, this
Is something to smile about the next time you see a
Bottle of wine:

Sally was driving home from one of her business
in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly
Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped
The car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like
A ride.

With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into
The car.

Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make
A bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old
Woman just sat silently, looking intently at
Everything she saw, studying every little detail,
Until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to
Sally.

"What in bag?" asked the old woman.

Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's
A bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."

The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or
Two.

Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder,
She said:


"Good trade....."

Scrapbook Inspirations

Oh I'm going mad, everyone keeps telling me about a big feature on Lippy Chick in Scrapbook Inspirations, but I can't find a copy of it anywhere, its driving me up the wall.

Went down to WHS and managed to pick up Craft Stamper who had also ran a piece on Lippy Chick, so quite excited about that, this is brilliant, The books are bloody fantastic even if I do say so myself.

Today I went to my local card group and actually managed to finish off all the CJ entries that I have here, so Phew, what a relief my work load is now almost clear and I'm so relieved, I have a couple of sneeky projects for Little Silver Hat to work on over the next week and one more class for the retreat, but then thats me, completely upto date, yahoo.

Tomorrow I'm off to Heathers which is always a pleasure, I love it when we get together, but I still have to sort out some stash to take, so I'm gonna love you and leave you with Joke of the Day, take care of yourselves. Kissy Wissy's xxx

A couple is dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They phone for a cab, turn on a night light, cover their pet parakeet and put the cat out in the back yard.

The taxi arrives, and they open the front door to leave. Suddenly the cat they put out scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in there because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes back in. The cat runs upstairs, with the man in hot pursuit.

The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later the husband gets into the cab.

"Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid hag was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat butt downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!

The cab driver hit a parked car.

B & Q JOB APPLICATION

My friend Clair sent this joke to me, honestly she has the most amazing collection of jokes on this earth, and I always ending choking on my coffee or nearly peeing myself laughing.

This is allegedly an actual job application that a 75 year old pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells.
They hired him because he was so funny.....


NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's Chief Executive or Managing Director. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place - would I?

DESIRED SALARY: £150,,000 a year plus share options and a Tony Blair style redundancy package. If that's not possible, Make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of Stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It was a crap job.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, Would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Reader's Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel Who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

Haa haa, nearly fell off my chair at the Readers Digest bit. so funny.

So what have I done today, well today is my Wedding Anniversary and my Darling Husband, or the Pressure cooker idiot as I sometimes call him, is taking me out for a meal and booze, yahoo.

Had the day off, been lazy, had lunch at our local greasy spoon, and I loved it, yum yum, pottered about the house, read a bit, went out to visit a friend who needed a hug and thats been it, Oh no, I lie, me and Ben went swimming, it was nice to spend an hour with him catching up with all his gossip, when he is out of the house and the usual environment, he really opens up, I'm so proud of my boy, he is handsome, tall, strong, sensitive, but most of all he is all mine.

this weekend, sees me up to my knees in CJ entries, I've fallen behind, again. I have card group on Saturday so I'll do some there, and then on Sunday, I'm going over to Heathers to let her see some class kits, etc and to do some more CJ's, for some reason when the two of us are together we are so productive.

Well thats me for now, off to spend time with Ben, and get ready for my night on the town, catch you all later. xxx Kissy Wissy's to you all.