Thank You

I got this email from a friend a few moments ago and after picking myself up off the floor and wiping my eyes dry from the tears of laughter I came straight here to share with you. So for a change we will have Joke of the Day at the top of the entry.

Dear All

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year........

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (PennyBrown); who is about to die in the hospital for the1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program .

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a waterbuffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late!

Thank You

See what I mean, that last paragraph had me running for the toilet as I almost peed myself laughing.

Anyway, back to business. This weekend was a weekend from hell, or at least the Friday was. It all started out great, I left home on Thursday, spent the night at Kirsty's and had a great time watching crap TV, listening to Marks running comments, (honestly that guy is so funny, he had me laughing out loud the whole time, with looks of contempt from Kirsty, she is obviously use to his humour). Got up on Friday all lovely and refreshed, was feed bacon sarnies, yahoo.

At 12 o clock, I set off for Harrogate. Now the trip should have taken 1.5 hours according to the AA and the route they gave me. Well the weather did not help matters, neither did the traffic, or the stone that flew up and gave my windscreen a lovely decorative crackled finish. At about 3.30 I arrived in ............................ Wait for............................ Bradford, still at least 40 mins drive from where I should be, and what should happen, my car died, on a major roundabout, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Quickly calls the AA whilst winding up windows so I can't hear all the nasty comments currently aimed at me. Whilst on the phone, I try the engine and yahoo, it works, AA says ok, on you go. 5 mins later, AHHHHHHHHHHHH Car dies again. Hello is that the AA, and a 80 minutes wait. I do have to say that the guy who finally arrived to my rescue was great, he could not fix the car, but apart from that he was great, he was able to spend 30 minutes on the phone to all his pals to be able to tell me he had no idea what was wrong but everyone else thought it might be the alternator. So a trip to a garage and 2.5 hours later and £250.00 lighter in the pocket I was on my way, Yahoooooooo, oh no, I celebrated to early, 2 minutes out of the garage and my exhaust fell off. Well hopefully you can appreciate why I drove the rest of the way with tears streaming down my face.

I eventually got to Harrogate at nearly 7.30pm, Sarah and Vicky had been held up on their journey as well, and had been kicked out the exhibition hall at 6pm, and had spent the last 1.5 hours wandering around Sainsburys waiting for me. This also meant they had not managed to get the stand set up, so straight off it was early to bed as we had a very very early start.

However, once the stand was set up, we had a great weekend, I saw a few friends, which was unexpected and really nice, but did not have time to chat to them for long as I was demonstrating the bind it all machine. I left the show on Sunday after helping pack the stand away, and left with two new friends, Sarah and Vicky from Stamp Addicts, what brilliant girls, I had so much fun with them, we stayed up late chatting in our hotel room, and had fun and laughter on the stand as well. I have been making some projects up for Stamp Addicts recently with the bind it all, in fact I went a bit wild and made 15 projects up for them, and no they where not all mini books, but I will share with you one of my favourite ones just now.

I adore this book, and can't wait till I get it back from the girls, I made another clear book which is much simplier and I'll share that one with you tomorrow night, that is if I remember, hee hee.

Anyway, have to go, nearly time for Heroes.

Take care of yourselves. xxxx