Friggin Lawn Mower

Today I got up full of good intentions, I had my day all mapped out and it revolved around attacking my very much overgrown garden.


So after getting myself suitable dressed and wellies pulled on, I start the mammoth task of pulling out the lawnmower, trimmer, waste bags, extension leads, safety plugs, blah blah, you get the idea. I start the mower up, do an area about the size of postage stamp and the ruddy blades fall off.


Let the search commence for the replacement blades. Now you know when you can see something in your mind, you know exactly what the item looks like but you can't remember for the life of you where you put it, well that was me for over an hour today. I swear to god the replacement blades, instructions manuals, screwdrivers and everything for the lawnmower are all in a bag together and I thought they where in the shed, Let me tell you, I pulled that shed to pieces, I have never ran out of a shed so many times screaming at the size of the spiders that usually quite happily live in there enjoying the peace and quiet, well not today. Charlie our cat had a field day chasing the little monsters all over the place, and he even ate a few, Yuck yuck yuck. After a fruitless search I gave up, packed everything away and now have a lawn that looks like something went mad in a very small area.

And thats been my day, not the most productive, but not from lack of effort.

Joke of the day for you all is from my great friend Janet, and had me wiping coffee off my computer screen when I read it.

An old Irish cowboy sat down at the Star bucks in Dublin and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."