Heaven is a place on earth..........

............ Called Lower Croasdale Farm.

I have just spent the most relaxing and productive weekend that I've ever had.

I was away with a group of friends and we hired the farmhouse for the weekend, set off on Friday morning and met up with the girls in Penrith, where we had a bite of lunch and did some shopping, then it was off to the Farm.

I swear to god, I want to live there, for ever and ever, it is so remote yet so idyllic, it was also massive inside and plenty of room for us to spread out and scrap to our hearts content. I have to admit to becoming a scrapping monster for the whole weekend, I managed to make almost 100 cards, 5.5 layouts (yes I'm counting the half one that is still ongoing) and also a present for a friend which is basically a double layout, I can't tell you more till have completed another one and posted them to the said friend (wink wink)

The girls all left Sunday afternoon, but the farm was rented till Monday so I stayed on another night with another one of the girls, well did not see the point in driving home in the miserable wet weather which was rapidly turning dark, and I had booked the day off work especially so I could take my time. Which meant I got to stay and scrap longer, yahooooooooooooooo.

I've driven home today and unpacked everything, which let me tell you is not like me at all, I usually just dump everything in my craft room, shut the door and ignore it for a week or so. But I really feel like my mojo is back. I've even scrapped tonight, ahhhhhhhhhh shock horror I hear you all cry. Yep, there was a challenge over on UKS using a sketch and I whipped out my stash and played away. I have taken a picture of the layout, but the light is poo pants and I had to crack the ISO right up, so its not that great, I will take a better picture during the day light at some point over the week and share with you all.

Tomorrow its back to work, but at least it will be a short week. I am trying to get my flexi hours right up, so that I can take another day off in a few weeks and get another lovely long weekend.

Anyway, not much else to report, so I'll leave you with a joke. This is a bit rude so if you don't like that sort of thing, I suggest you leave now. Joke is courtesy of Natalie, thanks Nat, you are a star for keeping me in Jokes.

The VOODOO PENIS

A Florida businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied.

He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, 'Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except ... the Voodoo Penis !'

The husband said 'The what' ? The man repeated 'The Voodoo Penis' and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo.

The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo !'

The man then pointed to the door and said, 'Voodoo Penis, door !'

The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much that a crack began to form down the middle. Then the man said 'Voodoo Penis, return to box !' and the penis stopped and returned to the box.

The husband bought it. He took it home to his wife, And after the husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Voodoo Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said 'Voodoo Penis, my crotch.' The penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off. So she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the hospital.

On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, the woman said 'I haven't had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me .'

The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and replied, 'Yeah right ... Voodoo Penis, my ass . !'

The rest, as they say is... History!!!