Rest

I'm taking a rest from Blogging and from the scrapping world for a short period of time.

A well deserved break I would say, I'll be back soon though and hopefully with news of the next Luxurious Angels retreat.

Take care of yourselves girls and I'll see you all soon.

Design Projects

As promised here are the things I made with the Design Kit Angela from Angel Crafts sent me.

I managed two layouts and a card, still have some scraps left, but put them to one side for the moment.

In my kit I received a sheet of Scenic Route White lined paper, a sheet of Making Memories - 5th Avenue - Sophia Flocked Leaves, a sheet of Making memories - 5th Avenue - Sophia Floral and a sheet of Making Memories - 5th Avenue - Sophia Geo Floral. I added a few things of my own, bazzill, blossoms, chipboard, alphas and some brads and I managed to make these.

This layout is using one of the many photos Kirsty Wiseman took of me in my house last year. Although my eyes are shut in this picture, it kinda sums up how I'm feeling at the moment, and how important my home is to me and how it keeps me centered, calm and sane all at the same time.

Some close up details of the heart with a scalloped bazzill border, hand cut and the cluster of embellishments. I especially love the badge, which came from paperchase and the large chipboard key came from Suzanne's stash, psssttt don't tell her.

A quick and easy card made with the left over paper and some of the many blossoms I seem to have breeding in my house.


A page made using the off cut of the bazzill heart that overhung on the first page and some of the lovely flocked leaves cut out. I love how the title came out, I stamped over the letters with a hero art leaves stamp and some acrylic paint. Really make it pop from the page now and ties in with the handcut leaves. I'll add my journalling later to this, once I can decide what to say.

Today has been great fun, but we did not seem to achieve a lot, we nipped over to Livingston as I needed to visit the papermill to pick up some cardstock for a class I'm teaching soon. We took a quick wander around so that the girls could see the water feature that is located their, it is amazing, and I have taken some pictures of it, but not had a chance to upload them yet. I will try before the week is out. Then it was home. I have felt like I'm fighting a cold off for a few weeks now, and in the car on the way home, I could not stop sneezing, so once home, Suzanne took charge so I could lie down for an hour in the vain home that it would pass. Well it seems to have done the trick so far, fingers crossed.

Now I must rush as me and Suzanne have some scrapping planned now the kids are in bed.

Joke of the day:

A man calls home to his wife and says, "Honey I have been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so would you please pack me enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and tackle box. We're leaving from the office and I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pajamas."

The wife thinks this sounds a little fishy but being a good wife she does exactly what her husband asked. The following weekend he comes home a little tired but otherwise looking good.

The wife welcomes him home and asks if he caught many fish. He says, "Yes! Lots of Walleye, some Blue gill, and a few Pike. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pajamas like I asked you to do?"

The wife replies;

"I did, they were in your tackle box."

Hangover - What bloody hangover...................

I tried so hard to get myself drunk, but you know sometimes it just seems impossible, probably did not help that I kept neglecting my drink in favour of yet more bloody cleaning.

Woke up Saturday morning, bright and early, after a very restless nights sleep, and am now sporting a lovely set of matching bags under my eyes.

Suzanne and the kids arrived up on Saturday at about 5pm, and I had tea all ready for us. We spent a great night watching Britians got talent, how bloody amazing was that Dog - Bob, I've never seen a dog walk backwards before on its hind legs.

Today, Ben was bag packing in Asda for Army Cadets, so it was up early again, and whilst I was their I did our food shop for the week, then back home, got everything ready for tea, made a picnic up and then off we went to Calderglen Country Park. I've never been their before, but it was brilliant, although a little muddy, and my suggestion of a short cut across a field did not go down to well. Whoops.

Then back home in time for Ben and tea.

We have spent a lovely evening scrapping together, I've managed two layouts and a card for Angela's Design Team over at Angel Crafts, but I'll photograph them in the morning cause the light is poo pants just now, so I'll share them with you tomorrow.

Anyway, best go, I have been asked to teach a class to the ladies at my local card group and I have a stack of papers crying out to be turned into something scrummy.

Take care.

Joke of the day comes from Clare in Australlia, Babes I miss you.

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. Done That
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." Done That
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences! With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8 .. Don't use any punctuation Do that all the time
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." Done that, really confuses them, hee hee
12. Sing Along At The Opera .
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15 Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!" Done that
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go." Wish I could do that
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......Send This E-mail To Someone ToMake Them Smile.Its Called ..... Therapy

Bollocks to that, I'll just post it here instead.

So how many have you done, or wish you could do.

TGIF

Home from work, off for a full week, house is clean and ready for guests to arrive, just need to do food shop.

So at last I can have my nervous Breakdown. I intent to get very very drunk tonight, listen to crap tv and music and have a bloody good sob.

Then once I recover from my hangover, which I best have, as won't feel fully sorry for myself till I do have one. I will attempt to put my life into order.

Honestly, why does life decide to treat you crap. I honestly thought everything was going ok, ok, i'm not loaded, I don't live the healthiest lifestyle, but I was happy. And all of a sudden, the rug gets pulled out from under you and you find yourself flat on your back looking up at rain clouds.

So, if I don't blog for a few days, its cause my head is throbbing, heres hoping.

Joke of the day is from a colleague at work:
There's an Englishman, Irishman & Scotsman all talking about their teenage daughters. The Englishman says " I was cleaning mydaughter's room the other day & I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she smokes".

The Scotsman says "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a half full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as Ididn't even know she drank."

With that the Irishman says " Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I found packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know She had a willy."

Cleaning binge

I've taken a mad spell of cleaning, my house is almost like a new pin. Out with the old and in with the new as they say.

I'm having difficulty sleeping and have quite a lot on my mind at the moment, and cleaning helps me to block all the thoughts and problems that I currently have.

Ben can't believe it, every room he goes into is like a palace, and all he can hear is me saying right behind him, don't you dare mess it up, hee hee, typical mum I know.

Only one more day at work, and then I'm off for a week and I'll be able to collapse in a heap and let all these problems pile on and hopefully I'll be able to deal with each one appropriately.

On a happier note, Suzanne and the kids are coming to stay for a week with us, I have a few things planned for us to do, days out, days in and lots of fun and games, hopefully they will be the distraction I need at the moment.

Joke of the day is from a colleague at work, hope you enjoy it.

Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself off. Bruce slams onthe brakes and yells, "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think you're doing?"

Sheila turns around with a tear in her eye and says, "G'day Bruce. Ya got me pregnant and so now I'm gonna kill myself."

Bruce gets a lump in his throat when he hears this.

He says "Strewth Sheila..... Not only are you a great shag, but you're a real sport too." And drives off.

Work Experience

Ben came to work with me today, He is currently off school for the next two weeks on holiday. The plan was that he would be home Monday, work with me Tuesday and then home for the rest of the week, and then from Friday 5.30pm, I on holiday for a week, YAHOOO. But like all best laid plans, they have gone to pot.

Whilst out at lunch today, he told me how much he was enjoying himself and asked if he could come in all week, I was so chuffed, like killing two birds with one stone. He is with me and he is safe, I don't have to worry about him been at home on his own (we where let down by the person who originally planned to watch him), he is getting experience of working life, and I'm getting my filing done, what could be better. He has been helping me out with some files that where stored off site, and that quite frankly where in a right bloody mess, so between us, we are organising them into some sort of order.

Tonight after tea, which we made together, we where washing and drying the pots and I said to him, I really enjoyed working with him, I never expected a answer back, but he came straight back that he enjoyed it as well, not only working at work, but working at home together.

Honestly that boy blows me away at times, sometimes I want to scream at him, for his lazyness, yet other times he can be so thoughtful and caring. Suppose its just teenage life.

Anyway, here is my little bobby dazzler, don't he just melt your heart.

Joke of the day:

Friendship between women: A woman doesn’t come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.

Friendship between men: A man doesn’t come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.

Moderation

Everything in Moderation, is a good thing. I've signed up for the UKS Cyber Crop, I've signed up before in the past, but never actually taken part, but this time, I've been encouraged by a few friends to actually join in properly.

I suppose the thing that has scared me off in the past is the pace of the event, it seems so fast and people do seem to get a bit manic about it all. However, I think I have it just right. I've been watching what has been going on from a distance, I've jumped in and out when I can, but I've not let it dominate my life. And I have to say, I'm enjoying myself. I know, what am I like.

I know there are a few people out their who hate Cyber Crops with a passion and they will think I've lost the plot for joining in, but as far as I'm concerned if it gets me into my scraproom I'm happy.

I've done a few of the challenges, and I've enjoyed what I've done so far. I made a planner, out of an old discarded index box, and I love how it turned out. I used Heidi Grace papers that I received but would never normally use, I still have plenty of the dividers left, so once the Cyber crop is over, it may get converted into something else, and out of the scraps I made a do not disturb sign for my scraproom door. Something that I'll probably keep.

I have even been adopted in the Cyber crop by Cal, she is leading the Comedy Kings, and its a wonderful idea to allocate each newbie with somebody who can hold your hand and offfer advise. I'm not going to encourage you to sign up, thats upto you, but I for one am enjoying myself, and thats what life is all about. I'm going to be spending the actual weekend of the classes with a friend and we will do the classes together, help each out and have a good old girly time in the process.

Joke of the day is in support of all things cyber, and one for the boys as well.

Subject: Computer Hard and Software:

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system>activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,A Troubled User.

(KEEP READING)______________________________________

REPLY:Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag, Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.

This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support

Sad News

I have some sad news, I've had it for a while, but have only shared it with a small number of people, but I understand it is all out in the open now, so I can share it with you.

Angela has left Luxurious Angels.

She has decided to focus purely on her own business and its expansion, and I'm now running Luxurious Angels on my own, and I wish her tons and tons of success and joy.

This was not an easy decision for either of us, and I can't deny that I'm a bit upset to be losing Angela from the business. I had toyed with the idea of just stopping the retreats all together, but after feedback from the girls who where at the last retreat, and bearing in mind the retreat raises alot of money for charity I have decided to continue.

I'm currently looking at new locations, and once I have found a suitable one, I will be announcing the next date. I hope you can join me.

I don't want to finish with a joke tonight, instead I want to finish with this......

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON...It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. Sometimes they die. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. Your need has been answered, and now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON...It is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

I so agree with this, I have struggled with a few things recently, one of those is Angela leaving the business, and I do have to confess that our relationship and friendship no longer seems the same, which truly saddens me. It has made me think back on other friendships, etc. I've lost a few friends from the scrapbooking community over the years, but after serious consideration, I've lost them as they have been in my life for a reason, I and they have taken what we needed and then left. At first, I was hurt by the decision by them to leave the friendship and also in the manner they behaved, but after reading the speech above, I'm actually relieved that they left, I will no longer be sad over what if's and but's, I shall simply put them the memories of them in a box and move on. I won't let their behaviour cloud my judgement and I won't let it hold me back from making new friends.

I will celebrate the Lifetime relationship I have, I'm so very lucky to have a few friends that are amazing, our friendships have spanned 20+ years , and I cherish the friendship I have with them.

I will embrace the people who are in my life for a reason and try my hardest to help them fulfil the need that they have and also fulfil any needs I have.

And I will happily accept people into my life for a season, although I might not share as much of myself with them as I have in the past.

Take care of yourselves and be kind to everyone that enters your life, remember they are their for a reason.

Me Again

I know, what am I like, posting more than once a week, quick somebody call the blog police, Roz is breaking the rules, hee hee. I'm messing with ya, there are no blog rules.

Well what news do I have to share, not much actually, things are ticking over, Ben is driving me up the wall (no change there then) and work is great. I love my job, it stretches me every day, I learn something new every day and I work with a great bunch of people (hee david, you won't find any slagging off on here if your sneaking in). Sad thing is though, that I will be leaving it in September, its a maternity cover position, and the lady I'm covering for, has confirmed she is planning on returning, can't say I blame her, its a great job.

I'm about to set off trawling the country to locations for the next Luxurious Angels retreat, I actually love to drive, and its a great excuse to get out for a day and explore, so my weekends are quickly filling up with plans for exploring.

Mind you thought, I have to fit in two lovely ladies for a day each, as they brought me at the last retreat, I was auctioned off to raise some funds for Ellies fund. I was actually quite worried, nobody would want to buy me, but once it was clear, that I was willing to teach a small private group or tidy up their scrap room, the bids came flying in. In the end I was sold twice, once as a teacher and once as a slave. I'm actually really looking forward to it though, the girls who brought me are such a good laugh, we will have a scream.

In total between making cards, charging for swears at work and getting sold, I managed to raise £280 for Ellies fund, if you don't know anything about Ellie, then please go and visit Kirsty's blog for more details, its very close to my heart. I am lucky enough to know Ellie, and I can tell you, if you are ever lucky enough to meet her, then hold on, cause she will steal your heart, she has mine and Bens in a jar, and if we had another to give her, we would give it to her gladly. We both adore her to bits.

At the Luxurious Angels retreat we also did some fundraising for MacMillan Nurses, we raised a staggering £855. 00, can you believe it, that is most we have ever raised.

Anyway, thats about it from me. I'll leave you with a joke as usual.

Take care.xxx

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1960 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?" "Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea."So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.
"Oh, probably catch a movie, then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,maybe take a walk on the beach..."
"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.
"Really?" Fred asked, eyebrows rose.
"Oh yes," the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"
"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.
"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
"Well, thanks for the tip!" Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse and a hoop skirt, and with her hair tied back in abouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred."Have fun, kids!" the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely dishevelled Peggy Sue burst into the house and slammed the front door behind her."Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled to her mother in the kitchen. "The Twist, Dammit! It's called the Twist! "

and another post from me

Wow, what am I like another post in one day. Wanted to post some pics of things I've done recently, firstly I have a layout that is of my best friends son Aiden and his Girlfriend, I love this layout, its def up their with my faves that I've done so far.

Next is a layout I did to my wonderful friend Suzanne, managed to get this brilliant pic of her, whilst we where away together in November for a girly retreat, I'm planning on scrapping each of the girls that where away that weekend, using the same papers for them all, so that the theme is set, I'll post them each as I do them. I have done another two but have not taken pics of them yet, sooooooooooo sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry.

I'll try to come back again soon and post pics from the classes I taught at the retreat, till then, take care.

Joke of the day comes from Clare all the way off in lovely sunny Aus, Clare babes I miss you. I thought this joke was highly appropriate considering tomorrow is Derby Match between Celtic and Rangers .......... Come on the Bhoys.

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cussed her. Where have ye been all this time?
Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call?
Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?
"The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad... .I became a prostitute...." "Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, A title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $5 million For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, and the sparkling new Mercedes limited editionconvertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad. Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff.... a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff.""!
Be go to blazes! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said, 'a protestant.' Come here and give yer old man a hug!"

So Long ............

since I actually did my blog, but honestly I've not felt like it.

Lots has happened in the last 2 months, we had a really successful Luxurious Angels Retreat, the classes where amazing, the girls where brilliant and we raised £855 for Macmillian Nurses, the largest sum we have raised to date.

I will try to be a better blogger, but you know what, I can't promise I will be, life at the moment is so hectic, in a good way, that sometimes I seriously can't be bothered to sit in front of the computer and write any of it up. I'm enjoying living life at the moment.

See this pic, it had me nearly peeing myself with laughter at work today, I had to fix my make-up afterwards, as I had streaks of Black Mascara running down my face. It cracks me up, think its the kittens paw positions that just make this so funny.

Anyway, I'll be back when I can. Till then take care. xxx Mwahahahahaha

Thank goodness thats over with

I hate January, and I'm so glad it's gone, phewwwwwwww..............

Now we have lots of lovely things to look forward to, I noticed the spring flowers are trying to break through the earth tonight, which brought a smile to my face.

I've not done much scrapping, as had this wonderful idea of moving my craft room from its current location to a new location, namely the utility room to the dining room, and to be honest I wish I had never started. My utility room is looking all lovely and nice and tidy now (first time in a while) however, my dining room looks like a monster has thrown up a mess of paper and stuff, its everywhere, and I can quite catergorically state that if I never brought another piece of paper (bazzill excluded) and I did a layout a day, I would still never get through it all in my lifetime. So a serious sort out is required. I'm going to go through each piece of paper and make up kits, then I'm going to take them all to the upcoming Luxurious Angels retreat and auction them off.

You might not know this, but Angela (angel craft) and I run Luxurious Angels, a scrapbooking retreat company, we hold our retreats at the most amazing hotel in scotland, Lockerbie Manor, its amazing and the staff now us so well now, that we are truly spoilt by them. Anyway, every time we have a retreat, we also pick a charity to support and we do various things to raise money for them, Tombola's, auctions, make and takes, you get the idea. So far we have managed to raise just over £1000.00 over two retreats. Well this year our charity is Macmillian nurses and we have some amazing prizes for the Tombola and the most amazing thing in the Auction that you have ever seen, but I'll tell you about that closer to the time. Anyway, I'm waffling now, sorry. Back to the point. All the girls bring along the stuff they now longer use, and we we sell it So I'll make up kits and include allsorts, i.e. brads, buttons ribbon etc, and hopefully I make a few pounds for the charity out of my old junk.

I did manage to make some layouts before I had my mad idea to move everything. I was asked to be a Guest DT member for a Trip down memory lane and they sent me the most scrummy kit ever. Here is what I did with it.

First Layout is of one of best friends, Gina, I love this girl so much, she has helped me thought some terrible times and has also been there to share the good times with me. She lives in tenerife and I miss her so much, we email each other but its not the same as sitting down with a glass of wine for a good old girly chat. Darling if your reading this, I miss you. xxxxxxxx

Next one is of me, I love this photo of myself and regardless of how old I am, I still feel quite young and vibrant at times, and that photo was one of those times.

Anyway, thats it from me, Joke of the day is from my brilliant friend in Australia, Clair Darling, I miss you, hurry up with chapter two.

A young girl from Donegal leaves home to find work in the bright lights of London. She comes home 6 months later and steps out of a taxi wearing a full-length mink coat."Begorrah, Colleen," says her Mother. "Tis a lovely soft coat yer wearin' an' it looks so expensive. Where did ye get that?"
Colleen replies, "Sure now, I won it at the bingo. Don't they have wonderful prizes in London?"
When the weekend's over, Colleen returns to the bright lights, but she's back to visit her Mum a few months later.
This time, when she steps out of the taxi, she's wearing a beautiful gold wristwatch and a large diamond ring.
Same exchange with Mum...same reply "Won it at bingo!"
Colleen returns to the bright lights again.
A few months later, she's back.
This time she's sporting a beautiful emerald and diamond necklace with matching bracelet and earrings. She hands her Mother 1,000 pounds and explains that she won it all in bingo.
Then she asks mom to run her a bath as she needs to freshen up.
When Colleen gets to the washroom, there's only a quarter inch of hot water in the bathtub. Colleen, a wee bit peeved at her Mother being so cheap with the hot water after being handed 1,000 pounds, so she calls downstairs, "Mum! Sure now, and didn't I ask you to run me a bath? There's only a quarter inch of water in the tub!""Indeed there is, me darlin'," replies her Mum. "But we don't want ye gettin' yer bingo card wet now, do we?"

You can never fool Mothers.

Let it Snow.......

Because I love it. Yes I do, I'm like a big kid, first thing I want to do is go walking in it, and step on all that Virgin whiteness and leave my footprint behind, there for somebody to see that I have been. I know that sounds quite deep, but I do actually mean it to, I really feel the need to let people know that I do exist and that I do leave an impression.

OK, it might be the wrong impression sometimes, but regardless of that, I want to leave an impression, so that people know I existed.

Anyway, back to the snow. I love nothing more than wrapping up all snug as a bug in a rug, with scarves, hats, gloves, boots and most importantly thick warm socks and going for a wander.

We had a rare day today, with nothing to do or anywhere to go, so we took advantage of it, and Ben and Me snuggled under the quilt for a long as possible, then up we go, had coco pops with warm milk and once suitably attired off we set.

We have heard of these standing stones which are quite local to us, not really sure if they are standing stones at all or head stones, as the locals in the area they are, refer to it as a pet cemetery (whoooooooo Stephen King). Anyway, we parked the car, jumped out all eager for our wander, when the sky went the most awful colour and down came the most watery impression of snow I've seen in a while. We carried on regardless, but after 5 minutes of trudging though this blizard of sorts, and having no feelings from the tip of noses to the tips of our toes, and after receiving the biggest hint of all from the dog who actually ran back to the car and sat waiting on us letting him in, we decided to turn around.

We have said we will try again tomorrow, so fingers crossed for more snow overnight.

I did manage to catch this picture of my three favourite trees on the way back. I keep promising myself that I will take pics of these trees throughout the year, but I never seem to manage it, so I'm off to a good start now, I have my winter shot, only another three seasons to remember.

I love how all three are bending to the wind.

Joke of the day comes from Rosemary and had me giggling, I hope it makes you laugh as well, thanks Rosemary.

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The I-Tit will cost $499 or $599 depending on cup size.This has been hailed as a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Take care of yourselves xxx

Welcome to 2008

Can you believe it, I'm actually here, and I'm actually blogging. After receiving many complaints from friends and relatives about my lack of updates, and more importantly JOKES, I've decided to do something about it.

So I'll kick start you all off with my most recent news. I got a job, yahooooooooooooo, it is only a temporary thing, (Maternity Cover) and will last till hopefully September 2008, as an Office Manager for a chemical company. I love the job, and its really interesting, they create synthetic DNA, but I won't bore you with all the details, needless to say I love it, the people are great and I will be sorry to leave when my time is over.

I was also lucky enough to win a place on the Stamp Addicts Scrapbooking Design Team, something I almost did not consider entering as felt I was not good enough, but hey, it just goes to show, you have to be in it to win it.

I had a brilliant weekend away with some of my closest scrapbooking friends in November (some none scrapping ones as well - just incase Jane is reading) and I loved it, we hired the most adorable house in the middle of nowhere and spent 3 glorious days and night, scrapping to our hearts content. We ate like the Queens that we are, we laughed so hard, I believe Kirsty ruptured her spleen, and we had the greatest time possible. It was such a success we are planning on making it an annual trip.

And thats you pretty much upto date. Ain't you pleased I never bothered blogging everyday, lets be honest here, I do lead a boring life.

I've been scrapping. Not much, but I've done some, I actually have not taken many pics of what I've done though, so here are the few I can find at the moment.

Layout of Angela and me that I did for Little Silver Hat with their December Kit. I loved this kit, not the usual Christmas colours, but all pinks and blues, scrummy. I especially loved the sequin ribbon in the kit.

This is another project I did for Little Silver Hat with the December Kit. Some of you may remember the advent calender I did last year, with pockets and tags giving clues as to where the chocolates where hidden, well this year, I took inspiration from a project I had seen in one of the magazines by the oh so talented Tracie Hudson using matchboxes, so I decided to have a play myself and ended up with this tree, all the chocs are in the drawers and I have to say it was a huge hit, even if a few people said pink was not suitable for Ben, and tried to steal it for themselves (Yes, that means you Angela and Anne, I hope your both really embrassed now, trying to steal a wee boys advent calender..... Ha Ha).

This is my first DT project for Stamp Addicts, they specifically wanted a Double Layout, not something I'm that use to doing, I tend to have enough problems with a single piece of 12 x 12 let alone two of them side my side, but I rose to the challenge and created this layout of Ben with his Dad, a rare moment caught on camera of them having a right good old chin wag, I had had the picture blown up ages ago, but had never decided how to scrap it, but the papers Sarah sent me where perfect with it, papers where Luxe Design papers.

I also managed to knock up this layout as well with the scraps and a few Heidi Swapp bits and pieces, I love the title and its a private joke between Angela, Suzanne and Me, I will add my journalling when I get the layout back, as its currently on display in the Stamp Addicts Shop. Needless to say, Angela was not as amused as I was, but hey, if I can't scrap my friends as I choice, who the hell can I scrap.

I've done a bit more, but honestly can't find the photos at the moment, plus I don't want to overload you all, on my first day back, so I'll leave it at that for now. I'll try to come back again soon and do my year in review, so be ready for a rather depressing next post....... You have all been warned, so no complaints.

Right without further ado, I leave you with your joke of the day. Enjoy.

LESSON OF THE DAY

A young man called Peter invited his mother for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome Peters flatmate Simon, was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Peter and his flatmate than met the eye. Reading his mum's thoughts, Peter volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Simon & I are just flatmates."

About a week later, Simon came to Peter saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, Ive been unable to find the frying pan, you dont suppose she took it do you "Well I doubt it, but I'll e-mail her just to be sure" said Peter. So he sat down and wrote : Dear mother, I'm not saying you "did" take the frying pan from my house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the frying pan but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner Love Peter

Several days later, Peter received an email from his mother which read: Dear Son, I'm not saying that you "DO" sleep with Simon, and im not saying that you "DO NOT" sleep with Simon, but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the F**KING frying pan by now. Love Mum

I sure hope that was worth the wait, it certainly had me peeing myself laughing when I read it.

Anyway, Happy New Year to you all, and thanks for stopping by.

xx

Where has the time gone???????

I can't believe we are already in the 20s of November, I have been so bad as not blogged since the beginning of the month.

I have so much to share with you all, but as it is I'm really short of time just now, but I promise I will update at some point over the weekend and I'll even try to upload some pics as well.

No joke, as just wanted to let you all know I'm still about. Joke at the weekend.

Take care of yourself.xxx

Joke of the Day

I feel so honoured, one of my friends has told her mum about my blog and my joke of the day, and her mum is now coming to visit me on a regular basis for a giggle at my jokes, so in her honour, as she is a special mummy this blog entry is just for you darling. xxxx

What Do Retired People Do All Day?

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.

Well, for example, the other day Marilyn and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes.
When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So Marilyn called him a shithead. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.

We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Take care of yourself and hugs to everyone.xxx

Digi Widgets

Can you believe it, I am doing Digi and its all down to the bloody brilliant Kirsty Wiseman and her digi workshop.

I have tried digi before, and believe me, its not been a pretty sight, I had no idea what programmes to use and actually did my first layout in powerpoint, ahhhhhhh I hear you all cry. I did eventually work my way upto using elements, but it was all goobly gook to me.

Well not anymore, we are now into our second week of the digi course, and I can't believe how much I've learnt already.

Now I know that some of the girls who are doing the course, said that week one was easy, and even Kirsty said it was a very basic start to make sure everyone was singing from the same hymm sheet, but let me say right now, thank god she did that, if she had not started at such a basic level I would have never have tried it.

Anyway, here you go, there are three layouts in total, first one is what we did in the first week, second one is the same layout with some changes that we learnt in the second week and the third layout is a challenge that kirsty set us to see how much we had all learnt, and I have to say, I'm quite proud of myself, I adore the 3rd layout, and will be recreating this in a paper format

Layout at the end of week one, We are all using the same papers etc to help make it easier.

Layout at the end of week 2, notice the photo mat has now changed to a star, the title is altered and we have shadow on the photo mat, etc to help add depth and dimension.

challenge Layout, using the skills we have learnt so far. I have quite a stock of digi downloads that I have been collecting in anticipation of this digi course, and I had this brilliant photo of Angela and me that Suzanne took for us last week whilst she was up. I absolutely adore this picture, in fact, its been edited using the actions that kirsty sells as well.

Anyway, thats it for me for tonight.

Joke of the day: Having shot a moose two Antartians began dragging it by the tail to their pick-up.On the way they were stopped by a game warden. "Let me see your hunting licenses boys," he said. When he saw that everything was in order he asked if he could give them some advice."Sure!" the hunters agreed."Well boys, I think that you would find it a lot easier to drag that moose by the horns and not the tail.""Aye, O.K. and thanks," said the lads.After about five minutes one said to the other, "Boy, dragging by the horns is sure a lot easier, eh?" "Aye, you're right," said his friend, "but have you noticed that we are getting further away from the truck?"

Yeukkkkkkk ............... Yahoooooooooooooo

Yeukkkkkkkkkkkkk I've had a bad virus, won't go into details, but toilet was glued to me, need say no more.

Yahoooooooooooooooo, my house is finally finished, well the inside is, and I love it, love it, love it, love it, do you understand, I love it.

Carpet fitters came last week and fitted carpets, then had to take hall one back up and come back again on Monday, I've told you before, nothing in this house is ever easy, this delayed the decorator finishing off his bits, but never mind, I was quite pleased as he ended up blocking out all of Monday and Tuesday for me, and he only really needed half a day on both days, so I got him to do all the snagging little jobs that have been driving me up the wall.

Ben is off school for half term, so he has been helping me out, with moving boxes from the garage, where everything was stored, cleaning it all, and then finding new homes for it, and its all done. All I have left to do is finish making the curtains for the front lounge and adjusting the length of the curtain in the front hall as its changed position since last hung, and I need to hang some pictures, but these things should not take me an age, in fact, I quite fancy running around with a hammer tonight, so the pictures might be up soon.

And to top it all off, I even get to show it off this weekend, we are having some friends arriving tomorrow and they are staying till Tuesday, a surprise visit, which has had us running around like headless chickens but brilliant news, as I love this friend so much and her kids are so funny.

Anyway, thats all my news. Oh no its not, I almost forget, Yes I'm not going to the real LA, its Luxurious Angels, we are hosting another retreat in March 2008 at the same venue, Lockerbie Manor, so if you fancy a weekend of scrapping to your hearts content, classes with brilliant amazing teachers and lots of fun and frivolity, then send me an email and I'll get straight back to you with all the details. We still need to update the website, but give us a chance we only decided last week to do this again, after much arm twisting from everyone. One thing I will say is we are limiting numbers this year, so if you do want to come, hurry as we are taking bookings already.

Anyway, Joke of the Day:
Every Saturday morning Grandpa Walt found himself babysitting his three grandchildren...all boys. The kids always wanted to play ''war,'' and Grandpa somehow always got coaxed into the game.His daughter came to pick up the kids early one Saturday and witnessed Grandpa take a fake shot as Jason pointed a toy gun and yelled, "Bang!''Grandpa slumped to the floor and stayed there motionless. The daughter rushed over to see if he was all right. Grandpa opened one eye and whispered, ''Sh-h-h, I always do this. It's the only chance I get to rest.''